One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars…that’s why there is no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. – Against Medusa.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the Movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

“Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?” – “All of them.”

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It’s not dead or anything, it’s just too scared to nove

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s Secret.

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet.

He scares the shit out of it.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives