Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a uni cycle
Chuck Norris and Time had a race...
Result: Time is still running...
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as RedBull
Chuck Norris one put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries
They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.