Chuck Norris jokes
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
So that's why...
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.