Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race...

Result: Time is still running...

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a uni cycle

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.