Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon – from a landline.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter

Sonic Can run around the world in a second. In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

“Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?” – “All of them.”

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can make minute made lemonade in 5 seconds.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris doesn’t turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries

There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain… it died.