Chuck Norris has been to Mars…that’s why there is no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet.

He scares the shit out of it.

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It’s not dead or anything, it’s just too scared to nove

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. – Against Medusa.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the Movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

“Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?” – “All of them.”

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s Secret.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

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