Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.

He scares the shit out of it.

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.