I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. The "joke" here is that mimes are known for not speaking. So, when the dude says they "did unspeakable things," it's a play on words because, well, they literally *can't* speak. It's supposed to be ironic and funny, but you probably think getting socks for Christmas is peak comedy, don't you?