Travel

Travel jokes

Titanic

    • The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.

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    • Japan

    • Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”

    Friend 1: “Yeah.”

    Friend 2: “Yea.”

    Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”

    Friend 3: “I love anime.”

    Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*

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    • Pilot

    • So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

    Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

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    • Travel memes

    Parachute

    • The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

    "People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,

    "People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

    "You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,

    "No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."

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    • Plane Ticket

    • Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

    Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

    Plane

    • I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

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    • Plane

    • Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

    Someone turned off flight mode.

    (Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

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    • Rap

    • WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.

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