What’s the difference between a blonde and a masqueto?

A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it

3 Drunk men get in a taxi, the driver knew they were drunk so he started the car and turned it off. the first man gave him the money, the second man thanked him but the third man slapped the driver, the driver surprised that he noticed so he askes why and the third man replies with ¨why did you drive so fast.¨

I hate 2 faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?the mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, “I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.”

The blonde thinks, “I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him.”

The Frenchman thinks, “I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.”

The Englishman thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.”

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

The shovel is a Ground Breaking invention. Slaps and laugh

What’s the difference between hooker and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes pulled down her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Somebody told me chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.

What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.

Richard: Mom, someone called me gay. Richard’s mom: Why didn’t you slap him across him face. Richard: No, I couldn’t. Richard’s mom: Why. Richard: Because he was cute.

What are the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.

Why did the bum get a slap ?

Because it was being to cheeky

I would slap you but that would be animal abuse (▼へ▼メ) (▼へ▼メ) (▼へ▼メ) (▼へ▼メ)

When I’m bored I like to slap orphans I mean what are they gonna do tell their parents

daughter:dad why are you so mean dad:because you are so mean that’s why daughter:you so get on my nerves dad:i am gonna slap you in yo god darn head if you don’t shut up daughter:wow dad you savage dad:21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! daughter:oh my god i am telln’ mom that you are doin’ that thing again

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going

Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, “mark, what would you like to eat?” Mark said, “I’d like some fucking potato’s.” SMACK! mother slapped mark. She then asked suzie, “what would you like to eat?” “Well, I’d like some fucking potatos” said suzie SMAACK! she slapped suzie. “Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat?” Well… I sure as hell dont want no fucking potatos.

Robin asks Batman what are you getting your parents for Christmas Batman gets mad slaps Robin and runs off crying

now you know why Batman beyond was born when Bruce died cause of death: suicide

Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away

I was staying over at my friends, for the purpose of the joke he shall be called kian. It was 03.00 am and everyone else was asleep when i heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it, Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge it was thought he had a huge slong. The banging was getting louder and so to was my heartbeat, i opened John’s door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked, there was a glory hole threw the wall where i could make it kians ass. This is what i have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards john. I shoved 1 inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, “you little gimp get on the bed”. Kian came in the room with a 2 litre bottle of irn bru, he demanded “what the fudge are you doing”. I replied smoothly "Kian you tracksuit warrior you have a camel toe" Kian fires back “shut it paul you have genital warts”. John screams "SHUT THE FUCK UP." He then gives us it so rough i can’t walk the next day, but feel pleasured for eternity.

By Lewis

Your butt so big you can slap it and ride the waves.

What should more fun than slapping a baby

Deez nutz

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