Rice

Rice Jokes

Bomb

Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"

Atomic Bomb

Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

Memes

Asian

Why was the asian late to class?

His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.

Blonde

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

Kid

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

Purchase

What was the worse purchase America ever made?

Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.

Stereotype

Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?

A: All the rice is gone.

China

You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.

Coronavirus

*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".

The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

Takeout

Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!

Difference

We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️‍🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕

Lump

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

Food

A: This rice is very delicious!

B: Ya! It is more delicious if it is cooked.