Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
Muslim Jokes
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
Q. What do you call a Muslim basketball player?
A. Osama Bin Ballin'.
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?
My friend: What?
Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!