Muslim jokes
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
A Muslim enters a building... Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
Q. What do you call a Muslim basketball player?
A. Osama Bin Ballin'.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.