Vacation jokes
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
Leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
Where did Sally go during the summer? Swimming.
Wash It Away - By Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions - Why does it always feel like I'm the one that's had a bad day?
Whether I'm stuck in traffic or showing up to work late,
Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to forever been working all week
For a jerk that thinks they can say whatever they want to me
I'll just bite my tongue for a couple more days
Soon I'll be in that island sun surfing those waves
I need the beach I love the ocean
Put my feet in the sand
Watch the earth in motion
Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day
Take it to the shoreside and wash it away
Oh yeah
You gotta wash it away
Finally I'm here and I can't even stop myself from smiling
Somebody hand me a beer and I'll check the girls on the island
Don't miss my 9 to 5
Living like a local on this island time
I got those sandy toes and nobody knows jump in the ocean and just go with the flow
I'll miss my sandy toes
I've got to go back before you know this island is my home
I need the beach I love the ocean
Put my feet in the sand
Watch the earth in motion
Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day
Take it to the shoreside and wash it away
Oh yeah
You gotta wash it away
Wash it away
I need the beach I love the ocean
Put my feet in the sand
Watch the earth in motion
Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day
Take it to the shoreside and wash it away
Oh yeah
You gotta
Wash it away
Wash it away
After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"
Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"