Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Look, im innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY. But my co-polit said: hit it with ur best shot.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
Why do Orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down ..."
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday? Returning to the scene of the crime.
My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dived to save it, he said he always dives for pens.
Why did the tornado 🌪 take a break?
Because it ran out of wind! 💨😂
What do sheep wear to the beach? A baa-kini
Where do math teachers go on vacation times Square
A Photon Is Checking Into a Hotel The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Where would a snowman ☃️ go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
My wife says s*x is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
im sorry orphans that your getting bullyed.. oh i have to go my MOM's calling me WERE going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reuonion
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A polise officer said," Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said," I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said," I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
