Company jokes

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?

Because it's a family company...

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."

Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."

Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.

I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.

After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”

“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?

Cause it's a family company.

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.

What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?

They both enjoy kids' company.

What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?

He puts his PJ-Amazon!

Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?

Because every little helps!

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."