Company jokes
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.
Did you know there’s a sex move called Amazon?
You wait all day and nobody comes.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.
The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.
This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.