Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."
Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."
Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
