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What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.

Why are birds good at social media? Because they ‘tweet’ all the time!!!?

My friend was annoying me with bird puns I realized toucan play at this game

Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?

They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.

how do birds pay? with their bills.

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot how many are there still on the fence

None the rest fly away

What bird doesn’t need a comb

bald eagles

Why couldn’t anyone see the bird

Because it was in da sky’s

“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Cakatoo” “Cakatoo who?” “So you’re a Rooster now?”

Bird box

The early bird might get the worm…

But the second mouse gets the cheese.

a boy walks into some woods with a phone and his friend comes by and asks what are you doing? the pauses then says trying some bird calls!

What’s a bird’s favorite movie? The Parrots of the Caribbean.

What’s the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don’t watch right and left before crossing the road.

Famous last words. Twin towers: “is it a bird, is it superman, AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ”

these are all of my terrible jokes

Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m joking of course" Dejamoo: the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor “I can’t feel my legs” the doctor said " I know, I AMPUTATED YOUR ARMS" I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says "dam" A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out of a "small medium at large" A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says "a beer please,and one for the road" Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent YO MAMA SO FAT THAT she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh A priest a rabbi and a cleric walk into a bar, the cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens. What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, how far do you think I can kick this bucket A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a p.... A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart Why didn’t Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico What’s green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels WERE A LIE. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck Why couldn’t the dinosaur break the wall, I don’t know. I’m asking you Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker, she has dementia There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It’s an owl it can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey