Bird Jokes

What’s a bird’s favorite movie?

The Parrots of the Caribbean.

What bird doesn’t need a comb?

Bald eagles.

What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?

For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

What’s the difference between a bird and a human?

“We don’t eat with our peckers.”

A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."

Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

Why are birds good at social media?

Because they "tweet" all the time!?

I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.

What do crows use when they get a phone?

A "CAWing" card!

What did the bird say to the other bird?

Nothing, because birds can't talk.

I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

What do you call a funny chicken?

A comedi-hen!

What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?

He flew up!

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Cakatoo."

"Cakatoo who?"

"So, you're a Rooster now?"

What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.

Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?

Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!

Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!