Bird Jokes

Anonymous

A teacher asks a boy in her class “If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?” The boy responds with “None.” The teacher asks why. “They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot.” The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher “3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?” The teacher says “The one sucking it.” The boy says “No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think.”

5
Anonymous

What bird doesn’t need a comb

bald eagles

Anonymous
in Puns

What’s a bird’s favorite movie? The Parrots of the Caribbean.

Anonymous
in Doctor

What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

0

I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don’t exist.

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked “Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?” Little Johnny replied “None, because the sound would scare the other two away.” His teacher said “No, but I like the way you think!” Little Johnny replied, “Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?” His teacher was shocked and said “Little Johnny!” He replied “It’s gum! But I like the way you think!”

What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

classmate
in Little Johnny

one day the teacher said “there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?” the teacher calls on lil johnny. “none” the teacher said ‘‘no but try again’’ lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said’’ not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says “no the one with the ring but i like the way you think”

Anonymous
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

0
Anonymous 96
in Dark Humor

What’s the difference between a bird and a kid on makes it off the roof.

Amith
in Puns

Why are birds good at social media? Because they ‘tweet’ all the time!!!?

lapeste

what do crows use when they get a phone? a CAWing card!

Anonymous

what did the bird say to the other bird

nothing because birds cant talk

By the law you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That’s ill-eagle

Anonymous
in War

Osama Bin Laden is the best angry birds player of all time

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

Anonymous
in Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to birds eye

Anonymous
in Puns

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.