The 100+ Best Bird Jokes

What bird doesn’t need a comb

bald eagles

What’s a bird’s favorite movie? The Parrots of the Caribbean.

What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.

A teacher asks a boy in her class "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says "The one sucking it." The boy says "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? -- For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

what does a skeleton put on his roof shin-gulls

Osama's aim was horrible, one of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.

What animal should wear a wig?

A bald eagle!

Kid: Mum how do you know someone is drunk? Mum: See the four birds over there Kid: huh, wait a minute. Mum: A drunk person would see eight. Kid: Mum but there is only two.

For sale: Dead Canary.

Not going cheep.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

what do you call a running chicken

scared

So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," say Satan. "What is it?" The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl." Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?" The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."