Travel jokes

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?

He used a bus.

Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?

He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.

Where do fruits go on vacation?

"Pear-is!"

I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.

What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?

A skele-TON!

Q: Why can't you run through a campground?

A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

- What do you call a bee who flew to United States? - "USB"

Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?

Dad: Because you were made there.

Mum: We haven't been to Canada.

Dad: Hol' up a minute.

What is the difference between a tree and walking home from school?

I did a walk walk and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home.

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?

- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.

What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.

Why did the cow go to space?

To get ice cream!

Why did the Indian cross the road?

To get to the curry shop.

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.

What do you call a Flying Pilot?

He pee on the plane.