Travel jokes

I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.

He sucked his sister's poop hole.

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

What is the difference between a tree and walking home from school?

I did a walk walk and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home.

Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?

He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.

What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?

He used a bus.

- What do you call a bee who flew to United States? - "USB"

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?

Dad: Because you were made there.

Mum: We haven't been to Canada.

Dad: Hol' up a minute.

- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?

- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.

Where do fruits go on vacation?

"Pear-is!"

What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.

Why did the cow go to space?

To get ice cream!

Why did the Indian cross the road?

To get to the curry shop.

Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?

Answer: A stamp.

A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.

When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"

What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?

He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.