Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?¨

You reply with: ¨Surrounded by friends¨

Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off!" The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman

The Barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

Have you heard about the smart traveler? He’s clearly going places.

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

What do you call a devil texting you Travelers on the way😈🤣

A orphan went up to nicolas tesla and asked to travel in time he then saw his parents put him in a building saying you now live here!!

Why does Jesus never vacation on earth?, because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick and their still talking about it

We dont got sluts in the south, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts

So Steph Curry and Lebron Jame went on a vacation and Steph Curry said try not to travel

what does we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels. a skele-TON

(A scientist time travels into the year 2024)

Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

riddle: I don’t move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. what am I?

answer: a stamp

He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.

A time traveler walks into a bar.

How did Stephen Hawking die

He traveled to far from the outlet

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