Travel jokes
Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.
Should be good night and walk walk home.
Anyone go to Success Jonesboro, AR?
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
Should we go to America for treatment?
We stayed in Essen and then left.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
I go to Venice to get a bigger penis.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.