Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
A Pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers, the passenger asks, "Why did you become a Pilot?" The Pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says "You're afraid of heights?". "No, i'm afraid of dying alone".
You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈
You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That's means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
A German went to France for a holiday and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone"
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book...it's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport???
•terminal
I ate a time-machine once, it was very time consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
what is the fastest country?iran
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat. She said nothing, so I took her to Africa
