The 60+ Best Boat Jokes

What is the titanic's favorite mint?

Icebreakers

My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.

titanic - "yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her"

If Shaq had a boat, he would name it freethrow, because he will never sink it.

What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?

Ice, Ice Baby!!

What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, It just waved.

Fisherman are the best at networking.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat he would’ve named it freethrow, because he will never sink it.

My dad And I were fishing one day

That’s where he met my step mom

Do you need an ark? Because I No-ah guy!

Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

I could never fall out a boat because I've already fallen for you.

A priest is drowning in a river... A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says "leave me alone, god will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn't you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn't take them! "