If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? – America.

A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn’t take them! "

Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

Where do sick boats go? – The dock!

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!” The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

once there was a boat its friends said: “it’s time to come back.” and the boat said: "No way I don’t give into pier pressure.

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? – When there’s a sail on it.

why fall harry out the boat because hes hooked!

A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

3 blonde girls are on an isalnd and they are much to far away from land to swim, they find a genie on the island who offers them each 1 wish the first girl says “I wish I was smart enough to get off this island” so the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island. The next girl says “I wish I was even smarter then her so I don’t have to do so much manual labor” so she turns into a brunet and makes a sail boat and lets the wind take her off the island. The finale girl says “I wish I was smarter then both of them!” So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

Where do boats go when they get sick? The Dock

there are 5 cats on a boat and 1 jumps off. how many are left?- 0 they were copy cats

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

What can you build with people? A boat 🚣🏻

If you start at a bait shop you’re an amateur baiter but once you achieve the highest level you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on shrimp boat

Q: If a boat could fly where would it go?

A: an airport

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

how can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles? ans:just throw one candle in sea the boat will become lighter

We almost dawned when we went out boating but I got a watermelon to keep me flooding

I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke

Row Row Row your boat Gently down the stream Merrily merrily merrily I can make you scream

there was 10 cats on a boat 1 jumped off how many where left? I DO NOT KNOW. there was none left they were all a bunch of copycats.

Three copycats on a boat 1 jumps off how many are left? 0 cause they’re copycats

There were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left? None cause they are all copycats.

How did I kill Georgee

I snatched her boat HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

two people were on a boat they were a float on WaTeR!!!

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