Trip

Trip jokes

Tent

    • Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

    Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

    "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

    Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

    "What does that tell you?"

    Watson pondered for a minute.

    "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

    Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

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    • Blonde

    • A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

    "I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

    The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

    The End

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    • Joe

    • Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?

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    • Orphan

    • I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?

    Parent signature: _________

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    • Trip memes

    Fireman

    • A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?

    Leave you answer in the comments. The answer will be revealed in 24 hours.

    Deaf

    • I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.

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    • Hand

    • What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

    What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

    What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

    What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

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    • Switch

    • So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

    After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

    So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

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    • Man

    • I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.

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    • Husband

    • A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

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