
Travel jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.
After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"
Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
Me after hearing
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
How do you get 1000 followers?
Walk into an African village with a water bottle.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
I've Benin there.
I'm Ghana go.
I've got to Togo.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
