Travel jokes
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."
What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?
What do you call a Flying Pilot?
He pee on the plane.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Hey Hunter, Thomas here.
Why did the plane cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Thanks guys, remember to like it, means a lot!
My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
When a plane is having turbulence, it’s just the pilot shaking the steering.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?
A European.
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!