Time Machine jokes

I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.

The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

Scientist time travels into the year 2024.

Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...