Time Machine jokes

I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.

The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

Scientist time travels into the year 2024.

Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.