Flight jokes
What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?
Malaysia Flight 370.
Who lives under the sea?
Malaysia flight 370.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."
What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.