Someone's jokes

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.

If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.

Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."

If someone calls you dirty minded just say:

"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?

You just got fruit-rolled.

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

Class: No one stands up.

Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*

Little Johnny: *stands up.*

Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕

Why did the orphans like church so much?

So they had someone to call father...

Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?

Because God doesn't punish someone twice.

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.