Mind

Mind Jokes

Pencil

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

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  • People

    I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

    After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

    Bullet

    What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.

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  • Dark Humor

    Do you have dark humor?

    Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.

    9mm

    There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

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  • Twin Towers

    Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?

    Well, probably their kneecaps.

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  • President

    Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

    They both had an open mind.

    Suicide

    To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

    Rose

    ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.

    Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.

    Get your mind out of the gutter.

    Depression

    Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

    My depression: hey, what's up!

    Me: go away.

    My depression: well how rude.

    Me: 🙄.

    My depression: remember that one time......

    Me: no, don't even.

    My depression: that we.....

    Me: nope.

    My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

    Me: 😳😶😟.

    My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

    Roulette

    My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.

    JFK

    JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.