Mind jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.

Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.

"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."

"In my opinion, JFK was the best president."

"Why?"

"He was very open-minded!"

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.

What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.

Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

Do you have dark humor?

Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.

Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?

Well, probably their kneecaps.

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

They both had an open mind.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.