Mind Jokes

Anonymous
in Puns

I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

Anonymous

What was the last thing to run through osama bin ladens mind? Probably a bullet.

6
Donde Shakur
in Depression

Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle

7
Nothing
in Depression

Are you depression 'cause you’re always on my mind~

Anonymous

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?

Well, probably their kneecaps.

Dark_Shadow

Do you have dark humor?

Actually never mind, I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying… but I decided to abort.

Broken pencil
in Puns

Knock knock. Who’s there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

0
Nellie
in Darkness

Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy very wise presidents?

They both had an open mind.

Anonymous
in Puns

Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents

Jasper

what was the last thing to go through Jfk’s mind? A Bullet

Anonymous

To everyone saying “don’t joke about suicide, it’s not even funny to laugh about people dying”. Do you think we have it easy?? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don’t make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

ok this isnt a joke but its funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it’s in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, its not what you think, its a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Anonymous
in Depression

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

aye
in Baseball

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

The Inspector

Stephen Hawkings is sooo lucky to go to heave- Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.

friend
in Russian

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.

Anonymous

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

Anonymous
in Self Harm

My friend; you lit my mind: that’s what the lighter said to my thighs

Anonymous
in JFK

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

Anonymous
in Marriage

Why do women have cleaner minds than men? – Because they change theirs more often.