Book jokes

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to ride Ponyboy Curtis.

Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?

Because it couldn't count the bars!

How do rappers stay organized?

With rhyme books instead of planners!

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

I read a book on the Tracy Latimer case the other day.

It was a gas.

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the library?

Because he was too loud with his FLOW.

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"

My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.

What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?

Faithbook!

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

Ever heard of account stealing?

Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.

My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."

What is a testicle's favorite book?

Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!

What's only book rapeboat ever read? Rhyming dictionary, he got no rhymes without it.

What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.