Book Jokes

Anonymous
in Emo

A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said go away you won’t bring it back

Shannon Hamilton
in Depression

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

Ratchet the Hatchet

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

Trint

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

5
Euan
in Puns

One day I came home from school and said to my dad ‘I got expelled from school today’ he said ’ how’ I said I threw my book at the teacher’ he asked why’ I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can’t hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. ’

Creeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaam

i got sent out of a library for putting a womens rights book in the fiction section.

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, “Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it’s time I gave you this.” And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, “Dad, I’m honored,” as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, “Hi, Honoured, I’m Dad.”

Mr. Frost

What is Hitlers favorite book. Hitler and the chamber of secrets

Anonymous

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book…it’s called “Around The House in Eighty Days.”

0
Anonymous
in Doctor

Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.

Anonymous
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.

Anonymous

I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women’s rights book in the fiction section

:)

A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, “Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?” The librarian replied, “no you’d never bring it back!”

Jimmy

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Bobby Bob Bobs
in Funny

What do planets like to read? Comet books!

Anonymous

I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday…

It was impossible to put down

Greengrass
in Depression

Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: seeing others happy Doctor : ok so what makes you happy? Me: seeing stupid people in misery or agony Doctor: Well that’s rather sadistic. Me: well statistically one in two doctors have fingerd a child… Doctor: do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy? Me: there’s nothing hidden inside me, I’m empty “smug face”.

Fortiniyt or le babg
in Dark Humor

I bought a book for my blind friend :)

Pun worker
in Puns

What did the math book say to the other math book?

Wanna hear my problems?