My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cook book in the women’s sports section
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
What is anonymous 🤔 oral masturbation? the politically correct word for anonymous gay fellatio from a 🕳 glory hole inside a 📖 adult book store
I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.
