Lostin Flowers

Worst jokes ever

“Sir, I’m afraid your son can’t attend our swimming lessons anymore.”

“Why not?”

“He keeps peeing in the pool.”

“Well, all kids pee in the pool.”

“Not from the diving board!”

Worst jokes ever

“You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.”

“Wait! I can explain everything.”

Worst jokes ever

“Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?”

“Ok.”

“What town did you grow up in?”

“Oral.”

Worst jokes ever

What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?

(People will then say r)

Arrr, you think it be r but really it’s the C that they love.

What’s a pirate’s least favourite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material and your internet will be cut off.

Worst jokes ever

I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

It was a complete waste of money.

He just stands there applauding and saying

“Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

Worst jokes ever

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says “what ever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of.”

The first boy goes down the slide shouting “diamonds!”, and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts “gold!”, and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts “weeeeeeee!”.

Worst jokes ever

The teacher asked a young boy in primary school “Can you tell me the alphabet?”

To which the boy replies “No”

The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.

At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks “Can you tell me the alphabet?”

“Shut up” she replied

The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks “Can you teach me the alphabet?”

But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!”

The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.

But his brother is singing “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!”

The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.

But his sister is singing “In my big red car, in my big red car!”

The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.

The boy replies “Shut up.”

“Alright, I’m sending you to the principal’s office right now.”

The boy replies “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!”

In the office, the principal says “who do you think you are?”

The boy replies “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!”

The principal now says “how do you think you’ll get away with this?”

The boy them replies “In my big red car, in my big red car!”

Bike

I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike. Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would out and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle. It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.

Night

One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE’S THE ROOF!

Food

French fries weren’t originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.