Lostin Flowers

Why did the carrots laugh? They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?

A meltdown.

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

Two cows are grazing in a field.

One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"

The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"

I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...

... And pulled a mussel

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Control Freak.


OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent!

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing. They fast!

What time is it when it turns 13 O clock?

Time to get a new watch

I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.

What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?


When is the best time to go to the dentist?


I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey

Of you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange".

I saw a robbery at the Apple store.

Am I an iWitness?