I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
*Titanic was sinking. Passenger: How far are we from land? Captain: Two miles. Passenger: Which direction? Captain: Down.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last
I named my dog 5 miles so when I walk him I can say I walked 5 miles random guy: I ran over 5 miles
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
you’re forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
I named my dog 5 miles so i could say i ran five miles today i ran over 5 miles
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀:You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
I named my Dog ‘5 miles’ so now I can tell people I walk ‘5 miles’ everyday😏😎
why were helen kellers hands crippled? From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour
I named my dog 5 miles so i could say i walk 5 miles each day
but today i ran OVER 5 miles…oops
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour
~babies in a blender 😌
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk tp the nearest gas station a few miles back. One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
What’s the worst part of about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car? Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half
what is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender
I called my dog 5 miles. Today, I fan over my miles.
if the average male walks 1.7 miles a day then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk