Puns

puppy

I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

Titanic

Julia

*Titanic was sinking. Passenger: How far are we from land? Captain: Two miles. Passenger: Which direction? Captain: Down.

Puns

Anonymous

What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last

Name

mclarathen

I named my dog 5 miles so when I walk him I can say I walked 5 miles random guy: I ran over 5 miles

Dad

johnny rub

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

Sadness

VEN-CI

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

Girlfriend

Anthony joselnik

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

Ketchup

Daniel King

🧀:C’mon tomato!

🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

🧀:You’re a mile away.

🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

Name

DïRtY jÖkeS

I named my Dog ‘5 miles’ so now I can tell people I walk ‘5 miles’ everyday😏😎

Hand

yourmom

why were helen kellers hands crippled? From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour

Baby

Bailey

What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour

~babies in a blender 😌

Forehead

vincent age 11

you’re forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.

Puns

Anonymous

I called my dog 5 miles. Today, I fan over my miles.

Number

Anonymous

Two men were were on a hike through a forest when on of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake the other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened the doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, ‘‘have u got the cure’’ hiker number two just said nah mate your dead

Titanic

Michael vandervoort

I smell Ice a mile. *Titanic I want to Icebeld.

Green

Anonymous

what is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender

Man

Allan

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

Milk

chloe smith

if the average male walks 1.7 miles a day then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk

Car

XxAM71xX

What’s the worst part of about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car? Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half

Baby

Anonymous

What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour

A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck

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