Identity

Identity Jokes

Orphan

Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?

Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."

Nothing

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

Trans

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

Dog

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

Walmart

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

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  • Fashion Sense

    Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

    Pregnancy

    A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

    My name, my address, and my phone number.

    Gay People

    Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

    Because they're always coming out of the closet.

    Climate Change

    What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?

    Arrest

    I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.

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  • Friend

    My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

    So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

    Emo kid

    What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.

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  • Boy

    A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”