Identity jokes
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?
Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: I don't know anymore.
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
What is an orphan's family portrait called?
A self-portrait.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
Who is the king of Reddit?
Sam Ryan.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.