Grass Jokes

Mechanical Manic

I’m starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.


What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D

in Dwarf

why do dwarfs laugh when they run. the grass tickles their balls.

in Cow

What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)

in Depression

Do you know why i wish grass was emo, so it can cut itself.

U make me barf

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

in Dwarf

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race because the grass tickles there balls


Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener


A man was mowing his lawn when blue and reg stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.


Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.


how do you get your grass to cut itself. make it depressed

Who’s asking

Why do people want emo grass? Beacause it’ll cut itself.


We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it’s impeccable.

John Doe
in Anti-jokes

What’s green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels


i wish my grass was emo then it would cut itself

in Cow

What do you call a cow eating grass? - A Lawn Moo-er

hahahah lol

roses are red grass is greener when i think of you i play with my wiener

in Cow

What do you call a cow that eats grass?

a lawn mooer


Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: “What’s wrong?” I said “How could you tell something was wrong?” they replied “you were looking forlorn”

in Emo

what is the difference between emo grass and normal grass emo grass cuts itself