Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
Grass Jokes
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
Grass.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
your mom
