Grass Jokes

Dwarf

Anonymous
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why do dwarfs laugh when they run. the grass tickles their balls.

8

Emo

Mechanical Manic
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I'm starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.

Emo

Anonymous
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What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D

Depression

Anonymous
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Do you know why i wish grass was emo, so it can cut itself.

Cow

Anonymous
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What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)

Depression

mads
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how do you get your grass to cut itself. make it depressed

Dwarf

Anonymous
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Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race because the grass tickles there balls

7

Little Johnny

U make me barf
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The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black." the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. "Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."

8

Roses are red

Puns
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Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener

Ball

you like balls
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Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Ball

Anonymous
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Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Shoulder

Boi
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A man was mowing his lawn when blue and reg stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.

2

Emo

Who’s asking
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Why do people want emo grass? Beacause it’ll cut itself.

4

Roses are red

hahahah lol
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roses are red grass is greener when i think of you i play with my wiener

Chicken

Tom
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We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impeccable.

Alphabet

John Doe
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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

0

Little Johnny

Quandale Dingle
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One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass. Not breathing. Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone. Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

Emo

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Why are emo jokes so infamous?

They cut deep.

Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?

Turns out it was just a phase.

How many emos like anagrams?

Some.

What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?

Emold.

What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?

They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.

What do you call flat-chested emo?

A cutting board.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Who cares, let them cry in the dark.

Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

It was the Happy Meal.

Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.

“Emo cake?” says the baker. ” What exactly is it?”

Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”

How do you pull an emo from a tree?

Cut the rope.

What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?

They’re both white and flavourless.

What do emo birds call their mouths?

Bleaks.

What do you call an obese emo teen?

An edgelard.

Recommended: Fat Jokes

What do you call a gang of emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

How are cats and emos different from one another?

The cat still has 8 other lives.

Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?

They are playing Fruit Ninja.

What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?

Sonic the Edgy hog.

Why would the emo swallow a clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Why are Emos still around?

Because the suffering never ends.

What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?

You encourage them.

What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?

A toaster.

What is the favourite game of an emo?

Hangman.

Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?

So it could cut itself.

A group of friends started an emo salsa band.

They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.

What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?

Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.

Emo

Anonymous
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i wish my grass was emo then it would cut itself