I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
Like if your best friend has a dog.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
What do you call a friend in space?
Space friend.
why do orphans want to be dogs?
because they want their own bed and food
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu I choose you!!!
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
I love my dog 🐕
