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My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

How do you escape a French prison?

Yell angrily in German.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? – One. They are efficient and don’t have humor.

A German went to France for holiday and here is the scene, French border staff: Occupation? German: No, no, no, just visiting.

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)

3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: “Local calls are free”.

What’s the German word for hotbox?

The gas chamber

What do you call a blind German A not see

Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.

In heaven responsible for the joke is the English man for food the Italian man and for the law and order a German man… In hell responsible for food is the English man for order and law the Italian man and for jokes the German man

Hitler

Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang!”

Who invented carbonated water?

The Germans, nobody else would think of adding gas!

My true hero is the person who killed Hitler

TFW you’re having sex with your german girlfriend and she won’t stop telling you here age

Why is the Champs dElysees in Paris lined with trees? Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!

A man found out that he was going to die. A German doctor comes in and says “you have 10 more”. The man yells out “10 WHAT!! DAYS!!! WEEKS!!!”. And the doctor says ”No seconds” and the man says “9 SECONDS!!!” And the doctor says “Nine Ten Seconds” He asked “How many seconds do i have to live 10,9 , or…” Then he died and learned how to say no in German…

How do you becomes with Nato. Promise no more world wars, by secretely peforming miltiary practises behind their back