A German went to France for holiday and here is the scene, French border staff: Occupation? German: No, no, no, just visiting.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? – One. They are efficient and don’t have humor.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German.
A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
What do you call a blind German A not see
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
To be the perfect German you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbles and as blonde as Hitler.
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
did u hear about the new german microwave? it has ten seats in it
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won’t ever see my dog again! Italian: I won’t ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: “Local calls are free”.
In heaven responsible for the joke is the English man for food the Italian man and for the law and order a German man… In hell responsible for food is the English man for order and law the Italian man and for jokes the German man
When a clock goes forward, it’s tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, its tactic!
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang!”
Question: how bad is german wifi?Answer: it´s the wurst.