Short jokes
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
POV: You liked this joke because you're straight.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.