Short jokes
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.