My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that." Then I unplugged his life support.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
I like my women like I like my wine, twelves Year’s old, in the basement, and locked up
A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me?😏” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”
Grandma: young people your age are married by now,why aren’t you?
Me: old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
up into the sky so very far here comes Dr. Seuss ALLAHU AKBAR, at the ripe old age of 97 he committed 9/11
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet : "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
What's the best thing about 28 year old's? -There's 20 of them.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex.
She was too young.
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed there for we are all technically 16.8 billion years old so to answer your question officer yes she is of age
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
My grandpa may be a pedo but at least he slows down in the school car park
What do most 50-year-old men put inside there cars
Children
A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...
<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*
Now 14y.o. : Oh...
