Age jokes

I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.

Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.

How are babies and the elderly similar?

They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

Addison Banks Age (8)

"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"

At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

What is a playground that is old?

A rotten playground.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

What's the difference between Axne and a priest??

One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.

I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.

Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯

Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.

It's often said that people peaked in high school.

I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.