Fish jokes
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! π π π
Memes
Americans:
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
What is a fishβs π favorite game?
Salmon Says!
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they donβt have pockets. Iβm
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.