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Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Two fish walked in to a wall one said to the other “dam”

If we can’t see air can fish see water?

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince.

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? A star fish

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference" Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that”

you might be

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”

What do you call a fish with no eye? A ffsshh

Two fish are in a tank. One says, “You man the guns, I’ll drive!”

What do you call a violent fish? A smackeral!

I’m sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

if my boobies are fish then am i salmon boobies. please give generously.

What do you call a fish without an eye?


What do you call a fish with no eye?


two men are hunting. one asks: did you ever hunt bear? the other one answers: no, but one time i went fishing in my shorts