Fish jokes
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.