Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

Two fish walked in to a wall one said to the other “dam”

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

If we can’t see air can fish see water?

Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference" Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that”

you might be

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince.

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? A star fish

What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”

Two fish are in a tank. One says, “You man the guns, I’ll drive!”

What do you call a violent fish? A smackeral!

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

What do you call a fish with no eye? A ffsshh

I’m sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty

I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

if my boobies are fish then am i salmon boobies. please give generously.

Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome

two men are hunting. one asks: did you ever hunt bear? the other one answers: no, but one time i went fishing in my shorts