Short jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?