Short jokes
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
I got jealous when my phone dies.
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
Olivia Rodrigo
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.