Short jokes
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.