Short jokes
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
Who do the United States owe trillions of dollars to?
Jew-piter.
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
What do you call a riot full of white people?
An avalanche.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.