Short jokes
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 8, 9, 10!
What do you call Jason Voorhees when he eats breakfast?
A cereal killer.
What is the best solution for getting bullied at school?
A school shooting.
What’s Sally’s favorite activity?
Jump roping.
If life is a joke, does that make school shootings the punchline?
I think the Explanation Bear reminds me of Stephen Hawking. Because they're both part machine, and nobody likes them explaining everything.
Why are American pilots better than Russian pilots?
Because they sure as hell don't drink on the job.
You remind me of a crispy KFC bucket.
Why?
Because you're always finger lickin' good!
What's a schizophrenic's favourite reality show? The Voice.
What do a schizophrenic and AI have in common?
They both tend to hallucinate.
Do you go to the gym? Because I sure could use a workout session with you tonight.
Can I be your tripod? Because I want to take a good look at you from all angles.
What do you call a mean cow?
Beef jerky.
Why did the heart go to jail? Because it had a cardiac arrest.
Can I be the hammer to your nail? Just so I can pound you down to my wood?
Everyone has depression on SOME level, even our cells do apoptosis!
Btw: apoptosis is basically when a cell kills itself :)
What's an emo's favourite historical period?
The Great Depression.
What's the difference between me and Elliot Yamin?
I will not be waiting for you.
Are you a cardiologist? My heart is missing, can I have yours instead?
Excuse me, are you a chiropractor? Because I want to take a crack at taking you out to dinner.