Short jokes
What do autistic kids and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Got my girlfriend a "get better soon" card. She's not sick, I just think she can do better.
If number 666 is evil, then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Alberta.
The only province where the Premier wears anal beads around her neck.
What is the national bird of Iran?
An American drone.
Can I get a building license?
It's the end of the world!
What do you call a series of ascending steps with eyes that follow you intently?
A starecase.
Are you the king of the jungle? 'Cause why are we lying?
Why did the child throw the butter out of the window?
So she could see a butterfly.
Why is a football stadium always so cold?
Answer: Because it has a lot of fans!
What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A vigilANTe!
What's soft and feels like dog?
The fur coat I bought you from Temu.
What do you call a feminazi that has a dick the size of a Vienna Sausage?
Fudge Packer.
Today I heard someone playing "Dancing Queen" on the didgeridoo.
It was very Abba-riginal.
What is the difference between my dad’s generation and my generation of women?
He had Wonder Woman, and I have to wonder if it’s a woman.
What’s the difference between an Indian and an Arab?
One's responsible for 7/11, the other's responsible for 9/11.
POV: You go to your nail artist for pink nails, but she gives you stupidness. 😂😂😂
Roses are red, Holy moly is a flower, WOULD'N'T YOU LIKE A TASTE OF THE POWER!??? 🔥🔥🔥
I was bulimic but I gave it up.
It just left a bad taste in my mouth.