Short jokes
Went to school today, had to yell at my friend that he wasn't on the clock.
He continued to swing on the pole in front of children.
I made a website for orphans.
It's all about parents who want children near their location.
I put my uncle's ashes in my Taco Bell so he could tear my ass up one more time.
What do you call an orphan being kidnapped?
A surprise adoption!!
My Premier is so fat she has her own gravitational pull.
Trump and Anakin Skywalker have something in common: they’ve both killed a lot of sand people.
What group of high school students touch the most dicks?
The jocks.
What did one terrorist say to their kid?
“Here comes the airplane!” “Here comes the other one!”
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
Why does a dwarf laugh whilst playing football?
Because the grass tickles his balls!
If Asians are bad at driving, then was Pearl Harbor an accident?
This isn't even a joke, honestly. Rape victims bitch all the time, and they have a god complex. Hope they go through it again.
What do a priest and Life have in common?
They both get harder when kids are around.
What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.
Once I saw a retard and an Alberta separatist having a conversation.
Well, actually, it was just the Alberta separatist talking to himself.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in between 9/11.
If sugar is a drug, does that mean putting it in coffee is overdose?
What do mermaids use to write with?
Sea pens.
What’s the difference between jam and marmalade?
I can’t marmalade my cock into your mum’s arse.
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.