Short jokes

Short Jokes

Pregnancy

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.

Negotiation

How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?

QUEUE THE MUSIC

BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT

Explain Bear

No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.

Explain Bear is always there for you.

Danielle Smith

I'm not saying Danielle Smith shouldn't party with oil barons.

I'm just saying that she should carefully watch her drink if she does.

Belt

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

Book

Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?

It’s called "Maybe Dick."

Rubber

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

Smoking

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

Enzyme

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.

Ball

Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.

Donald Trump

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

Anencephaly

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

Batman

Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?

So the police can see that he’s white.

Year

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.