Short jokes
Trump and Anakin Skywalker have something in common: they’ve both killed a lot of sand people.
What group of high school students touch the most dicks?
The jocks.
What did one terrorist say to their kid?
“Here comes the airplane!” “Here comes the other one!”
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
Why does a dwarf laugh whilst playing football?
Because the grass tickles his balls!
If Asians are bad at driving, then was Pearl Harbor an accident?
This isn't even a joke, honestly. Rape victims bitch all the time, and they have a god complex. Hope they go through it again.
What do a priest and Life have in common?
They both get harder when kids are around.
What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.
Once I saw a retard and an Alberta separatist having a conversation.
Well, actually, it was just the Alberta separatist talking to himself.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in between 9/11.
If sugar is a drug, does that mean putting it in coffee is overdose?
What do mermaids use to write with?
Sea pens.
What’s the difference between jam and marmalade?
I can’t marmalade my cock into your mum’s arse.
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
When will delusional Christians grow up and realize their fairy tales aren't based in reality?
Why does no one like Hitler when he goes to the movies?
Because he would count, "zehn, neun", and then it would all turn green.
What do you call a computer that sings?
A Dell.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Hi Stephen. Are you a vegetarian?
Well, you are partly right—I'm a vegetable.