Short jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Mountain Dew was a real mountain.
What's the difference between a Christian and a schizophrenic?
Nothing.
These are all disturbing dad jokes. I love it!
What do you get when you combine Michael J. Fox and a cow?
A milkshake.
Pretend you're an orphan and I'm telling you a joke:
Your mom.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
None, they both eat out.
How do you stop a gang of black men from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
I'm gonna crack Explain Bear.
Tung tung tung sahur. Three tungs when you say his name? So many tungs I oughta call you a polyglot.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.
I am proficient in many subjects including biology, sociology, scientology, and of course, idiotology. ☺️
What do iPhone batteries and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both go down quickly.
Need a sock puppet for a joke.
"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don’t wanna talk about it!" 🤣
Why was 2 afraid of 1?
Because 7 ate 9.
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
What do me, emos, and Monster cans have in common?
A barcode.
"There's one terrible pilot." -- President George W. Bush on September 11, 2001.
Michael J. Fox isn't allowed around small children. When he touches them, he is immediately accused of shaken baby syndrome.
According to Michael J. Fox, rumors of a "Back to the Future" part 4 are a little shaky.
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"