Short jokes
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.
One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
What is harder than steel?
My cousin at the family reunion.
14 girls asked me to go out today!
I was in the ladies' toilets...
How do you make an idiot say how?
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.