Short jokes
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
So what does stress and energy mean?
Beer.
"My love, I missed you."
"Aww, I missed you too."
"I did not miss *that* time!"
The professor said, "I think this question raises a few problems."
The student replied, "That is not a question; that is an answer."
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
I have a 12-inch destroyer.
Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".
Doesn't he own a mirror?
Q. What's a compulsive masturbator's favourite food?
A. Jackfruit
What do sped gymnasts wear?
A Reotard.
Q. What do iPads and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
A. Kids turn them on.
I have the superpower to predict the past.
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.
In a porn video!
What does William say when he hurts his toe?
"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out."
How many racist jokes am I allowed to make?
None.
Because I don't make jokes.
Yo momma so slutty, she won't even be offended by this joke.
"Give me a cigarette," the condemned man said.
"I thought you quit," replied the guard.
"I did, but I don't think it matters anymore."
Why is it so hard to play hide-and-seek in an orphanage?
Because nobody is looking for them.
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
Putin is so obsessed with territorial expansion, he’s even trying to annex your mama’s bedroom.