Short jokes
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
What do you call a Vietnamese antivirus scanner?
An-Thi-cho-rho-na.
Putin is the only person whose country is bigger than his mind.
On April Fools' Day, there is no fool except for me.
What does Meg do when she gets a cold sore?
She bathes in diarrhea.
I wanted to open a restaurant for the hearing impaired, but the slogan "Enjoy without hesitation" didn't go down so well.
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
What came first: the chicken or the egg?
Doesn't matter, in the future, they'll come together.
The only thing worse for a man than the end of the world is a testicular clinic.
What do gay Minecraft players do?
Stare at their big blocks.
How many Joe Biden jokes are there?
None, because they're all true.
Dynamic song tutorial: Momo dela dela bro, dela dela bro, cuemcuemcuemcuem.
Did you know they made a porn site for pirates?
It's called Heavy Arrrrrrg.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite porn site?
A: Motherless.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
What do Somalians excel at in the US?
Welfare fraud.