Short jokes
What do you call a gay Pikachu? Penischew.
Why do you think SpongeBob will be good at sex? Because he's always ready.
Maybe I should call you Patrick Star, wanna know why?
Because you're fat, stupid, lazy and everyone laughs at you for it.
You're so skinny that every time you get an X-ray, you call it a selfie.
It says my comments are the worst. Although, if Explaining Bear were to post it, they would be negative jokes.
Friends you eat with are called "tastebuds".
Knock, knock?
Who's there?
This dumb Explain Bear who needs to get a life.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why is one brain cell kinda like finding your dad?
Because there's a one in a billion chance of finding them.
What do Ethiopians and castanets have in common?
They go "Click click" "Clack clack".
What's a skeleton's favorite movie?
Indiana Bones.
My wife caught me touching myself to an optical illusion. And I said, "Honey, it's not what it looks like."
You're so anorexic that you'd beat an Ethiopian villager in a beauty contest.
How many cops does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, they’ll just beat the Black out of the room.
You're so sad that you make the Great Depression look like a better time period to live in.
What's black and doesn't work?
A filthy porch monkey at the zoo.
I went up to a dude with no arms, pulled out my speaker, and started playing "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands".
Have you heard of the foundation called Autism Speaks?
No, it screeches.
This is for all of the men.
What do you call a penis that disappears? A Magic Johnson.
How do you make a pool table laugh?
You tickle its balls.