Immigration jokes just cross the line.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
My grandpa and your hairline go way back
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
What did Jim say to Jeff?
"I killed your ham."
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
