Pie

Pie jokes

Note

  • Note to self.

    When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".

    Google "cream pie recipes".

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    Party

  • I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

    I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

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    Sister

  • SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"

    Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"

    Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...

    My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."

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    Magic Trick

  • I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."

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    Parent

  • Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.

    Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.

    Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!

    If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

    Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.

    I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?

    If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

    If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!