Prison

Prison Jokes

My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself,... That's a little condescending 😊

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Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

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I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions ..you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared. The man did as was told and became generous and kind ..as he emerged from the betting office with all his money... he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person..each and everytime. He ,however couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what . When he died the Angel came back for him .. "But I'm undeserving I can't come with you" he said .. "Yes you can" replied the Angel , "you gave all your stake ( steak) away"

A cement mixer has ­collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.