Prison Jokes

Some people think prison is one word...but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

Whats a prisoners favorite game?

Hangman!

My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison.

The white guy actually did it.

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?

Only one is wanted.

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself,... That's a little condescending 😊

How do you escape a French prison?

Yell angrily in German.

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.

I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life

i saw a cuban prisoner i asked why are you running from the cops he said IM FREE AT LAST.

Why did the guitarist go to prison? Cause he fingered A minor

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.

A cement mixer has ­collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.