Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

What is a prisoner’s favorite punctuation?

A period.


Because it marks the end of a sentence.

How do you escape a French prison?

Yell angrily in German.

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there’s a small medium at large!

What’s the differencd between prison and concentration camps? At least you don’t die when you shower.

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison? He’s a small medium at large.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said; “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.

What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named brandon

Why did the guitarist go to prison? Cause he fingered A minor

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself,… That’s a little condescending 😊

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions …you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared.  The man did as was told and became generous and kind …as he emerged from the betting office with all his money… he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person…each and everytime. He ,however couldn’t seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what .  When he died the Angel came back for him … “But I’m undeserving I can’t come with you” he said … “Yes you can” replied the Angel , “you gave all your stake ( steak) away”

Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals, they are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit, they go in and the first man comes out with a peach, he is instructed to shove it in his ass and if he laughs he will be killed, he tries and dies, the second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same, when the two meet at the pearly gates the first man says, i had a peach, there fuzzy, you had a grape whats your excuse? "Well i was doing fine until I say jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple.

I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and i thought, huh, that’s a little con-descending

What’s the only type of Batteries that they use in prisons? Durracell

A drunk guy runs into a bar… he bangs his head and falls down, why? Because he is in a prison cell.