Short jokes
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.