What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Short Jokes
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
