Short jokes
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."