A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

I invented a new word today.


Why did they invent glow in the dark condoms So gay guys can play star wars

What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?

It is ground breaking!

When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’

The shovel is a Ground Breaking invention. Slaps and laugh

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.

Did you here about the person who invented the door knocker?

He won a no-bell prize.

How did Stephen Hawkins make it up the stair way to heaven? Well he didn’t they invented an elevator

Aboriginals around for 50,000 year invented the spear.

Who invented fractions? – Henry the 1/8.

What is the world’s greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly officer I never heard her say no.

“We’ve invented the spade!” “Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!”

Q: what did the person who invented the door knocker get

A: a no-bell prize

A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.

I doubt it will sell though, as it’s 95% cabbage.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke? He won the No Bell Prize!

Which one of Lord Arthur’s knights invented the round table.

Sir Cumference

You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!

Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it’s like to live with an irritating cunt too

Did you know that the shovel was a ground breaking invention?