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A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

I invented a new word today.


Why did they invent glow in the dark condoms So gay guys can play star wars

What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?

It is ground breaking!

When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’

The shovel is a Ground Breaking invention. Slaps and laugh

Did you here about the person who invented the door knocker?

He won a no-bell prize.

Who invented fractions? – Henry the 1/8.

The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.

Why is the wheel the best invention?

Becuase it’s wheely wheely great!

Who invented carbonated water?

The Germans, nobody else would think of adding gas!

Did you know that the shovel was a ground breaking invention?

Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke? He won the No Bell Prize!

A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.

I doubt it will sell though, as it’s 95% cabbage.

the invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.

How was the copper wire invented?

Two Jews were fighting over a penny.

Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It’s groundbreaking!

Which one of Lord Arthur’s knights invented the round table.

Sir Cumference

I invented a new word today. Plagiarism.