Short jokes
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
What country do French Fries come from? Grease.
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.