Short jokes
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
POV: You liked this joke because you're straight.
America.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.