Fireplace jokes

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)

I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.

And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."

You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

How did Santa fit down the chimney?

He buttered it.

Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)

Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.

A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.