Short jokes
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'