Short jokes
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
Guys, comment below if I should do a name reveal!
He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone. "Wing Wing Arrow!"
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
What mountain cries the most?
A mountain under water.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!
I hit on the Twin Towers. They were hot.
Your mom uses the equator as a belt.
Did y'all know our future president is probably saying "Six Seven" and other brainrot right now?