Short jokes
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
I'm not racist, but the Ku Klux Klan look all the same to me.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.