Short jokes

Short jokes

Kid

Special

When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.

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  • Rose

    Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

    Water

    It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"

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  • Brother

    Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

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  • Daughter

    Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."

    Father: "Sorry."

    Nun

    Why do nuns walk in groups?

    So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

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  • Magician

    What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?

    Answer: disappearing acts.

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  • White House

    Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."

    Pedophile

    Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

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  • Sex

    What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?

    The hole experience.

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  • Hitler

    Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?

    A. An easy bake oven.

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  • Manual

    I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.

    Woman

    Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

    IHOP.

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