Short jokes
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.