Short jokes
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.