Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
