Short jokes
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.