Short jokes
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.