What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree He now knew how the Mercedes bends

What do emos and apples have in common?

They both hang on trees.

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant? A BONE-zai tree. But if they don’t like that one, how about a S-pine tree?

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?

You wave at him.

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.

If trees could kill you, they wood.

What’s a teacher favorite tree

A geometry

How do you get my neighbor out of their tree? You untie the rope.

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

What do you call a Russian tree?

Dimitree

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we’ve ever gotten to an accident site.”