A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?


What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we’ve ever gotten to an accident site.”

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

If trees could kill you, they wood.

Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? – Because they are really good at it.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.

What do you call a Russian tree?


Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.

What’s a teacher favorite tree

A geometry

People are like trees… They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

What’s better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten!

What’s big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?

A pool table.

What’s white and can’t climb a tree?

A refrigerator

What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table

what is worse 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 baby stapled to ten trees.

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