What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant? A BONE-zai tree. But if they don’t like that one, how about a S-pine tree?

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree He now knew how the Mercedes bends

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?

You wave at him.

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

What’s a teacher favorite tree

A geometry

If trees could kill you, they wood.

How do you get my neighbor out of their tree? You untie the rope.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

What do you call a Russian tree?

Dimitree

Fruit is like ex-wives…

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we’ve ever gotten to an accident site.”

3 blonde girls are on an isalnd and they are much to far away from land to swim, they find a genie on the island who offers them each 1 wish the first girl says “I wish I was smart enough to get off this island” so the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island. The next girl says “I wish I was even smarter then her so I don’t have to do so much manual labor” so she turns into a brunet and makes a sail boat and lets the wind take her off the island. The finale girl says “I wish I was smarter then both of them!” So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope