Tree Jokes

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."


What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.


An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope


A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, "You can have anything you want.""

The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."


What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A BONE-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a S-pine tree?

Tounge twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze. That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀

Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲

Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚⁉️

Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮