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What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

What do emos and apples have in common?

They both hang on trees.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

Can I branch out to some tree puns. Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on

What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant? A BONE-zai tree. But if they don’t like that one, how about a S-pine tree?

A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree He now knew how the Mercedes bends

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.

If trees could kill you, they wood.

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?

You wave at him.

What’s a teacher favorite tree

A geometry

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?


What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!

Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.