Short jokes
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Kenny was into incest until his mom died.
Now he's into necrophilia.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!