Short jokes
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
moo.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.