Short jokes
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
*JMC*
ANOMALY-931
"Gwen"
Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Why did the Hummingbird hum because he forgot the words?
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.
You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.
Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.
No one will fight me, who is brave and strong enough to beat this beta simp femboy?
Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
What do you call my brother in the water?
"Tsunami."