Risk jokes

Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?

I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"

You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.

Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?

It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

The toaster, otherwise the perfect bath bomb.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.

Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com