Risk jokes
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil? One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
"Hold my beer, watch this."
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.