Risk jokes
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
The toaster, otherwise the perfect bath bomb.
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com