Risk jokes

Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?

I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?

It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!

The toaster, otherwise the perfect bath bomb.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.

Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com