Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
What do you call a drunk depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
a skeleton goes sky diving. doesn't come back in one piece
Why don't blind people skydive? -- Because it scares their dogs too much!
(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
Look I didn't hit rock bottom I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don't it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane? It scares the shit out of her dog.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills." grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence." grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
Man says "im flying" realizes he was pushed out of a plane.
you dont need a parachute to go skydiving you only need a parachute to go skydifing twice
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case he had to drop some BOMBS
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute? Ground Beef
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd JUMP
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were one a falling airplane. Their were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually their are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
