Risk jokes

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

What’s worse than running with scissors?

Scissoring with the runs!

I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

I am the danger.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

"Hold my beer, watch this."

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

Balls deep.

Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.

What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?

One baby in 10 trucks.

Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.

Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.

He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.