Risk Jokes

I am the danger.

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

What’s worse than running with scissors?

Scissoring with the runs!

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

Meme:

A close-up shot of a squash plant with a sharp twig impaled on a thin vine. The text reads, "Your chances of being killed by a squash plant are low but never zero."

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.

He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.

I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.