Risk

Risk jokes

Flip

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

Bridge

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

Roulette

I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.

Memes

High

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

Bad Luck

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

Run

What’s worse than running with scissors?

Scissoring with the runs!

Bungee Jumping

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

Fun

Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

Time

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.

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  • President

    Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.

    He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.

    Cat

    Why do risky people have cats?

    So they have 10 lives with them.

    Rubber

    I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

    Orphan

    So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

    Cheater

    My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

    I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

    Result

    Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.