Risk jokes

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

Why is it bad to climb a tree?

You might fall on an orphan! 🫥

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

Are you a toaster?

Because I wanna take a bath with you.

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

It was a Risk I was willing to take.

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!

Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

What do you call people who jumped in the dam?

A dam fool.

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.

The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."