Risk jokes

Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.

Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.

What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

"Most Deadly Sport"

Playing chicken with a train!

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.

I always hit on 16, then get busted.