Insurance jokes
Was he under insurance claim?
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
When the card declines on child insurance.
A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.
The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!
Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
What's a psych ward worker's favorite incense?
Insurance fraud.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.