Toaster

Toaster Jokes

Day

The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.

Bread

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

Mamma

Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.

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  • Lord

    And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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  • Mom

    So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.

    Depression

    Dentist: Open up, sir.

    Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

    Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

    Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

    Dentist: Do you need help??

    Me: Yep.

    Dentist: ...

    Me: ....

    God

    And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."

    But John came fifth and won a toaster.

    Disciple

    Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.

    Rose

    Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.

    Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.